First of all to get the house-keeping out of the way, Her Shifter Soldier and Too Much to Bear are $0.99 until 5th. Also, to celebrate the release of The Bad Moon Boxed Set, it will be $2.99 until the 5th also!
Now, onto my musings:
I was combing through the Bad Moon series for more typos before releasing the bundle (and boy was that embarrassing!) when I came across something that a few of you lovely readers have picked up on and mentioned in the review–Bailey’s pant size.
I never really thought much about it when I wrote it. To be honest, it is just one of those things I know about Bailey because, well, I created her. And it is just one of those snarky things she points out about herself. I must admit that when I write in the first person, I’m not really speaking as the narrator. And it’s no secret–Bailey has big girl issues, and that’s part of her journey!
I decided to remove the mention of her size, because it wasn’t my intention to have my reader compare themselves to her. But I realized, after asking a few other indie authors about the subject, that it will inevitably happen. Because which one of you hasn’t wanted to wring out a thin girlfriend’s neck because she complained about a “fat day?”
When you’re gifted with curves, it’s sometimes hard to see your own beauty. People make comments, sometimes maliciously, and sometimes casually, with no malintent. Those were (and still are) generally worse for me. You can dismiss someone who’s hatred is more blatant. It stings, but it’s quick–it’s their problem, not yours. But when someone doesn’t mean to hurt you, saying something as simple as, “are you sure that’s the right size?” It stays. Lingers in the back of your mind until the next time someone says something about your appearance.
Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what they say. It could be kind, it could be cruel. When some someone says you’re beautiful, you might think that they’re mocking you. Or that they’re crazy, and you can’t accept the compliment. Or maybe you feel like a fraud, like you tricked them for the day.
Sometimes it’s something neutral–like a character mentioning her pant size in a story you’re reading.
I didn’t mean to bring any of your bad memories back–if anything, I wrote Bailey (and most of my heroines) the way I did because bigger girls can get it too! I love knowing that what I write diversifies what’s out there, whether it be because my characters are uniquely beautiful, curvy, or come from a different ethnic or racial background.
The truth is, we all fall in love. And falling in love rocks. Every woman and girl should know that they are uniquely beautiful. Society has it’s rules for us, but sometimes we have to make rules for ourselves. Don’t ever let anyone make you think you’re undeserving of love because of your size–imagine the example that sets to all the young women in your life.
For me, BBW is a revolution. A really steamy, sexy revolution. And it’s not going anywhere any time soon 😉
Remember, like many of my heroes, there are men who love curves. But more importantly, be a woman who loves yourself, all of yourself. We all have flaws, we all can improve. But you are more than a pant size, just like Bailey. You are women, but you are also employees, parents, teachers, daughters, spouses, writers…the list goes on.
Just stay you, stay strong, and be good to one another 🙂 (advice I should follow…!)
Lots of love,
Jackie
Jackie Sexton 